I said Hello?

I said Hello?? Who is this really?
Now I don't know you but You know my limbs
fall back into ur arms

SMS: "What are you doing for tn?"
I said u dnt kno me, i dn kno u
fall back into ur self


SMS: "But the memories won't ever fade"
I said hello? Who is this really? I don't know
fall back into your arms

I said she had lost her head
You said Hello? Who is this really??? Fixed in ways
fall back into ur self

Cordial test of collective unconscious

Affectionate deviant 

Knocks on door

Signing hymnals jubilee

In a displaced tongue

Peaceful sycophant

Purrs back happily

Mumbles off-color similes

With her chipped teeth

Too be continued....

Draft Excerpt

I am back laying on my old bed again and I feel myself lost in intrusive memories of past ghosts.  I can still feel myself heaving a few months younger than now. The thrashing is most prominent, the fear I recall only secondly.  I remember the first time I heaved, it was after the assault.  I was at a party when soon I lost control.  My face contorted and my breath was lodged somewhere in between my throat and something heavy and itchy.  It was yarn in my throat but I could not cough it up and soon the pressure in my throat intensified and the waves of fear came crashing like the ocean and I was the sand disintegrating underneath. Nothingness. I tried to speak and silence came for awhile but soon the shrieks collapsed over me and the heaving, the heaving, oh god, oh god, the heaving. I soon lost feeling in my arm but not before the tingling washed over my entire body.  I knew I was dying, I just was not sure from what. Hours later, while I sat in between long pauses in an abandoned parking lot I realized I had a nervous breakdown.  As the sun creeped up the following day my eyes burned from the salt tears that poured all night. There were indents around my eyes like circles around wheat crops that came from a place far away from here.  The swell around my eyes would not subside like a puffered fish still risen in fear long after the enemy has gone, awkwardly and embarrassingly.  In truth, no one in my town had nervous breakdowns, not at 19 at least, and soon friend's walked lightly around me as though I was a mirror slowly cracking into two and everyone began to wither away. But, I was too preoccupied in between heavings at the time to notice. The years have accumulated since and the heavings followed and the yarn in my throat got bigger and bigger and tighter and tighter.  This is what it feels like to come home for Thanksgiving.

A letter to someone I once knew

Sometimes we begin talking again and
that time on Light House Hill
comes through my memory once again
Do you Remember? in my car
I couldn't breathe for hours and
Every time I opened my mouth
no sound ever came out and
I begged You to take me
to the hospital. Do you Remember?
all because you told me you
didn't love me and You never
did take me because you were
embarrassed of my lungs failing me

Sometimes we begin talking again and
that time in Kings of Prussia
begins to replay in my mind
Do you Remember? in the attic
I cried while you screamed and
your fists danced around me like
they were reaching for an answer
I begged for a God to
take me away. Do you Remember?
I still feel my cheeks stinging
the pressure of your body as
your fists skipped around my face
and God never did take me
because He was embarrassed of my
body contorting and my eyes ballooning

blau sein

i see you
in the blueness
of his eyes

i would be lying if i told you this wasn't passionate
your unshaven mouth is still engraved on my lips
the truth my body is still curved from yours against mine
laying down, stoned, feeling higher than i've ever been

i see you
in the length
of his hair

you would be lying if you told me this wasn't passionate
the smell of your contorted voice before i left
the truth your breath is still breathing into my crooked skin
sitting down, thinking, feeling anxious as i've ever been

i see you
in the curve
of his mouth

they would be lying if they told us this wasn't passionate
my cheeks are still swollen from when i left
the truth i'm as tangible as the hole in your ceiling
on bus, leaving, feeling lower than i've ever been

weed

I love weed and weed loves me
maybe weed doesn't love me but I
love weed we fell in love together

Sometimes weed and me fight and sometimes
weed says i'm fat and I cry
and I beg weed to not leave

weed and I are in love together
weed only lets me see him but
I sometimes thinks that is rude but

I really love weed he says that
I should give him a blow job
and he cums immediately when we fuck

one day me and weed will be
t o g e t h e r, he pushed me in the fence
because he loves me, i cry anyway

weed throws a suitcase at my head
and tells me to fuck him but
i'm crying but he makes me fuck

in my ass it hurts plead no
weed love me after he cums alot
weed and i are in love together

the boys club, yacht club

The Boys Club, Yacht Club
wears all green ONLY
because they smoke sick WEED

The Boys Club, Yacht Club
fucks around with H
rotten peaches on their DICKS

The Boys Club, Yacht Club
call themselves FUCK BOYS
their dicks reek of ANAL

The Boys Club, Yacht Club
love to love DRUGS
and girls who hate DAD

The Boys Club, Yacht Club
have fuck dads, MOMS
who snort dope PAIN KILLERS

The Boys Club, Yacht Club
dad buys their SEMEN
and they fuck mom HARD